The Mother of All Jersey Fouls

Getzlaf Kings Jersey Foul

Friend of Crowned Royal Lenny V. was at the game vs. Columbus the other night. He sent me this picture:

I couldn’t believe my eyes. I told him he needed to find this scumbag individual and get an explanation.

While I waited and watched the game, my mind spiraled out of control thinking about what could possibly be the reasons for creating such an abortion of an NHL sweater:

  • He is cursed by birth to have the name Getzlaf, and in an attempt to reverse this misfortune that has surely ruined most of his life, expresses his Kings’ loyalty.
  • He sells jerseys for a living, since no self-respecting NHL jersey retailer would oblige such a foul request, and hopes to gain publicity for his pathetic small business of stitching abominations by creating controversial sweaters.
  • He is a Sharks fan, and since urinating in public on both a Kings and Ducks jersey would be at the very least frowned upon, came up with this instead.
  • He is a part of some kind of special needs program, and someone who doesn’t know any better bought him that jersey from Goodwill for 89 cents.

Then thanks to Lenny’s diligence, it came:

So I found him and said, Excuse me, Sir, but I have to ask about your jersey. He replied in an Eastern European accent, laughing, “It’s to confuse.. I like both teams!”

As an apparent outsider, he may perhaps be naive to the rivalry between the two teams. So as a displaced So-Cal resident, I suppose it’s understandable to follow and have an affinity both teams.

But the level of which this is a Jersey Foul is so deep that it may need another name.

  • First, to put a player on another team’s jersey that he’s never played for is an atrocious foul on its own, simply because it is so nonsensical and might take great lengths to accomplish. I would hope the customization stand at the Staples Center didn’t perform such blasphemy.
  • Second, to dis-count the fact that there is a cross-town rivalry simply to display your support of both teams is selfish, ignorant, and disrespectful.

The type of person that would combine all of this into one bloody bodily secretion of polyester is what the Jersey Fouls recurring feature on Puck Daddy was created for. No, seriously!

As much as I personally solicit my fellow California residents to become fans of the game of hockey, regardless of specific franchise interest, this is one hockey fan Los Angeles can do without.

21 Responses to “The Mother of All Jersey Fouls”
  1. Chris Bond says:

    Someone should kick him down the stairs…..

  2. Jersey Foul says:

    Wow. that one is pretty bad. Should have video taped talking to him.

    By the way, I felt compelled to mention this post on

  3. Rex says:

    Thats awesome. I just ordered my own in the early 90’s black Kings design.

  4. Larry Mitchell says:

    Go Ducks. You wish you guys had half a player as Getz… Oh wait you do, his name is Kopitar.

    Better luck next year

    • crownedroyal says:

      Many things could be said about this comment- assuming the Ducks will have a better season than the Kings halfway through when the Kings are 5 points behind with 3 games in hand; saying something negative about Anze Kopitar. Both very unbiased and based on pure fact.

      But I would like to thank you for pointing this out about Ryan Getzlaf.

      I have been saying for years that the Kings need a player that can do what Getzlaf does on the ice for the Ducks. There is no doubt that the Kings, nor any team in the NHL has someone who can take horrible stick penalties, (that means tripping, hooking, slashing, cross-checking, and spearing for those of you in Anaheim) complain about those penalties and everything else, be a general douche, or get his ass kicked by Wayne Simmonds as well as Ryan Getzlaf can.

      Except maybe Corey Perry.

      Thanks for stopping by Crowned Royal, please come again.

      • KemicaDistortica says:

        How’s Doughty doing this season?

      • Anti-Crown says:

        Its actually kind of sad really. I pity CrownedRoyal and his sad devotion to a team that does everything it can to disappoint its fans annually. I’m sure I dont need to but it’s helpful to point out the Getzlaf has 1 Stanley Cup and every single King (while playing on the Kings) has none. Besides that blatantly obvious fact, it is also interesting to point out that the Kings started out hot this year and landed in first place quite prematurely. Apparently they didnt get them memo that there aren’t any trophies for being first in the league around Halloween. It’s what happens in April May and June that counts and the ducks easily dominate the kings in that respect. I hope you enjoy your sad little blog about a hapless franchise playing in the shadow of a team with a shorter history and a smaller market because it’s probably the only satisfaction they will bring you. I hope you live long enough to savor another 40+ years of mediocrity.

      • Larry Mitchell says:

        Hahahaha. As you would say “very unbiased”. That was all you could muster about Getzlaf? Why stop there. He is also bald. Getzbald! He talks more than other players… FACT. He is also much better than any other king player. FACT. The kings would take him in a heart beat. The Kings GM couldn’t jump faster if he knew Ryan was on the trading block. The funny part is the depth difference between the Ducks and Kings. Getzlaf is out a month and the Ducks are just keep on winning. The Kings have one or two players out and you can barely muster any wins in January.

        The writing is on the wall. Either hire a new GM or start trading players away. You better believe if the Kings don’t make playoffs this year he will be out.

      • Bailey Fan says:

        Still here Larry? It’s a FACT that Getzlaugh and Crybaby Perry take more dumb minor penalties in the offensive zone than almost the entire Kings team combined. Getzlaugh has also earned himself a reputation as being a lazy player who coasts on shifts, doesn’t shoot enough, and doesn’t play to his potential. I’m pretty sure that Bob Murray would snag Kopitar a lot faster for his center depleted team than DL would if he had the chance to acqire ANOTHER center in Getzlaugh. And as for the statement that the Ducks have more depth… haha, you’ve gotta be joking right?

    • First off, if anyone should be pitied, it should be fans of a team that was born from the shadows of a Disney movie made for children. The Ducks have won 1 Stanley Cup. That’s it. And I hope you really enjoyed it, because you know deep down that it won’t be happening for a long time. The Kings are the team of the future. The Ducks should go battle Team Iceland and let the big boys play hockey. Guaranteed the Kings will make the playoffs this year and the Ducks will not. And as far as Drew Doughty goes, any player can get injured. The way he has bounced back is just as we all expected. He may not be lighting it up in the points department like he did last year, but his defensive game is better than any of your d-men. Fact.

    • lol says:

      Better luck NEXT year?!?

  5. QuackAttack! says:

    @Anti-Crown:Could not have said it any better! As for crownedroyal, you actually still believe that the Kings will make the playoffs? Even if they manage to squeeze in, it’ll be one and done!

  6. Bailey Fan says:

    Who wants to bet that QuackAttack, Anti-Crown, and Larry Mitchell is really one guy posting under three names? One thing about Ducks fans trolling on Kings blogs is that there’s usually a bunch of posts from 3 or 4 of them in a short amount of time. Guess they can’t get enough supporters over to fight for their cause, so they create some.

  7. More Cowbell says:

    You’re right, I definitely don’t want this guy on my team:,2,670&event=L.A967

    It would be awesome if the Kings traded Doughty for one of the dozen 40 year-olds on the Ducks. Then our team would be cool.

  8. LAKings 4 life says:

    Kings 2 Plucks 1
    nuff said.

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