Concerns About Gagne
Insider Insight is a new feature on Crowned Royal that will
highlight showcase exhibit OK mock the most brilliant hockey minds Southern California has to offer: the commenters on LA Kings Insider, Rich Hammond’s blog.
Not sure if this individual is just trying to be funny or is the little demon sitting on top of Brian Burke’s left shoulder.
Kings sign Simon Gagne to two-year deal
I hate to be a naysayer — and I know I’m harping on my favorite and oft-recited theme — but even assuming Gagne’s healthy, we need meat in front. Big, oppressive, obnoxious slabs of meat.
SIZE, amigos. SIZE.
Gagne isn’t a mouse. But as gritty and tough as he is, and while he’s reported — optimistically — as 6’1″, his physical dimensions are not part of his game.
Where’s the beef gonna come from?
When we enter the attacking zone, I want opposing players to see nothing but monuments to hugeness. I want urine dribbling down their legs as they say to themselves, “Cripes! These guys are friggin’ monsters!”
And I want them muttering that to themselves line after line after line. I want them to doubt their masculinity. I don’t want mere victory. I want Japanese humiliation.
Can anyone fill me in on what Japanese humiliation is? On second thought, never mind.