The Mouth’s Kings vs Sharks Series Preview- Wait.. Pump the brakes! Pro Set hockey cards!

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Let me start by saying that I was asked to write this preview because the man who usually does this no longer has the time due to his upcoming wedding. 

Life.

Over.

*Editor’s note: I did, however, have time to edit this. You’ll thank me.

So I decided to look back at a little Kings/Sharks history but eventually got sidetracked by some old cardboard I came across.

The Kings-Sharks rivalry can be traced back to its origins before the 1991-92 NHL season.

The Kings had just had a great year (102 pts) followed by a choke job in Round 2 thanks to the Oilers. “Terminator 2″ was the hit movie around the country and “I Wanna Sex You Up” was a hit on the Billboard charts. The Sharks were about to start their very first season as a franchise in some AIDS smell infested arena called the “Cow Palace” which reminded me of a place where gangbangs sexual gatherings and monster truck rallies took place.

cow
 
San Jose had the 2nd overall pick in the draft and chose forward Pat Falloon, who was having sex canoodling with a young Scott Neidermayer at the time.

falloon
When the pre-season schedule came out, I saw the first game the Kings hosted would be against those very Sharks. I raced down to the Great Western Forum in my VW Golf and was able to catch the game. Afterwards, I came across the newest member of the Kings, Jari Kurri and he signed my ticket stub. (upside down) Thanks Jari.
kurri
 
Later that season, The Kings beat San Jose twice to begin the regular season, before heading up north in December and losing in overtime. The Sharks “biggest win” in franchise history to that point.
article
 
As the years went on, Kings fans had to deal with the likes of Arturs Irbe, Jeff Friesen, Owen Nolan, Sandis Ozolinsh, Jonathan Cheechoo, Evgeni Nabakov, Mike Ricci, Patrick Marleau and Joe Thornton just to name a few. Even even this future asshole down the 405…

haywardsj
 
The teams would never meet in the playoffs until a couple of years ago when a Kopitar-less Kings took the Sharks to 6 games before losing on Thornton’s overtime goal. The Sharks’ captain can produce on the stat sheet, but his leadership skills rival that of Fidel Castro.
 
 
Here are a few more respected and successful captains throughout time.
capt1
capt2
 
As I was going through my early 90’s archives, I wondered if my 1990-91 Pro Set hockey card collection would reveal any quality insight. Maybe a Sharks franchise preview card? Unfortunately, there was nothing involving the Sharks, but here are some gems that I found.
 
Former Kings Head coach Tom Webster.

webster
 
Webster was best known for launching his stick like a javelin at Kerry Fraser, who just happens to highlight the “NHL officials” collection.

fraser
 
I miss that hair. Speaking of officials, who would have though Amil Muzz from Dragnet was a linesman in the NHL?
 mustache
muzz
 
Oh, look. More look-alikes…
Tim Watters of the Kings and the guy who wanted to kill Julia Roberts:

watters
laura
 
 The Whalers’ Mikael Andersson and MacGyver:
andersson
 
rich
 
 Hey! its Petr Svoboda! Last time I saw him he was drunk with Cuba Gooding!
petr
cuba
 
There’s this asshole (*Editor’s note: left alone for accuracy) again… 

hay
 
Little did this guy know that two decades later they would make a shitty silly movie using his name…

carter
cart2
 

Speaking of shitty silly,  I came across this…

huddy
 
Which makes me have to show this to Kings fans…(unfortunately, this doesn’t work in Canada)

Then I come across this beauty and I know I have more to live for than just vodka and hookers comfort and companionship.

gretzk
 

Hopefully this is a great series. And while many Kings fans may remember this happening…

joe
 
 

This ended up happening the following year…

cup
 
Follow The Mouth on Twitter for more vulgar Kings insight, especially as the day turns to night, and the night turns to hangover.

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