Kings Player Grades, Crowned Royal Style: Jonathan Quick

Quick retro

Jonathan Quick – Tito’s Vodka
“Tito’s Handmade Vodka is designed to be savored by spirit connoisseurs and everyday drinkers alike. It’s time-honored method of distillation requires more skill and effort than modern column stills, but it’s well worth it.”

Kings Player Grades, Crowned Royal Style: Jonathan Bernier

Jonathan-Bernier Wine

Jonathan Bernier – Clos Saint Jean, Deus Ex Machina, 2006
“The wine is backward, powerful, full-bodied, and more of a long-term proposition than the four other cuvees. It possesses massive concentration and depth as well as extraordinary balance, freshness, and laser-like focus”

Dustin Penner Missing…James Gandolfini Tired, But in Good Spirits

Well fed.

The Los Angeles Kings are offering a game-worn Tom Preissing jersey as a reward for anyone with knowledge of Dustin Penner’s whereabouts.  Team officials announced this morning that Penner was likely kidnapped Monday, February 28th, a day before he was due to arrive in Los Angeles via  trade. In a stunning press conference this morning, General … Continue reading

Sign: Loud Enough?

Loud Enough cropped

We’ve all heard about it by now, that a horribly naive ‘writer’ for the San Jose Mercury News is for some reason trying to make Staples Center a harder road game for the team he is covering by calling it a quiet, ‘Kenny G’ experience.

Video: This Will Haunt Brad Richardson’s Nightmares

Brad Richardson vs. San Jose Sharks 4/14/11

Video of Brad Richardson’s scoring chance in overtime of Game 1 vs. San Jose

Through an Unlikely Series of Events, Oscar Moller Will Play on Saturday

Oscar Moller Black

Yeah, so, Oscar, remember how we said we didn’t think you could hack it in this series? Yeah, about that. We actually need you. Yeah.

About That Shoulder: What to Really Expect From Justin Williams

Justin Williams 3rd Jersey

He’s back! Problem solved! I mean, Kopitar is still down, but with Williams skating on the top line, the Kings can expect a huge surge in production. Right? Probably not. I hate to be a downer the day of Kings first playoff game against the San Jose Sharks, but if Justin Williams’ return to the … Continue reading

A Los Angeles Kings Fan’s Plea

Kyle beg

No, this article is not analysis or prediction or even satirical or clever in any way. It is a pathetic plea from a weary Kings fan.

All Hands on Deck

Michal Handzus celebrates a goal over the Colorado Avalanche

By now, we’ve all replayed the Anze Kopitar injury about a million times in our heads already. We’ve wept. We’ve drank our weight in vodka. We’ve kicked holes in our apartment’s walls.
Time for us to get past it and look at the immediate future.

The Fall Heard ‘Round the NHL

Kopitar Injury

“He’s not getting up.” I watched in horror as Anze Kopitar, the Los Angeles Kings’ indestructible center who had played in the last 330 consecutive games, writhed on the ice in pain. But Anze Kopitar is more than just a reliable player who suits up for every game: He is the team’s best goal scorer … Continue reading

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